I’d been working as a Physical Therapist for about five years when I decided it was boring. That type of work just wasn’t doing it for me. I was restless, searching for something else. Another career that would fulfill me. Somehow I stumbled on the idea of Rehabilitation Engineering. I thought – this is it!!!
So, there I was in circuit lab. My lab partner Sam, a teenage boy, savvy with the wires and all the connections. Me, in my late twenties, overwhelmed and clueless. The wires were there in a heap, a jumbled mess. I didn’t know where to start. He jumped in there with confidence and soon the small light bulb was lighting up. For me, the lab experience was all about anxiety. Without Sam there, I never would have made it through.
The math and engineering classes were different. There were text books that told me the answers. All I had to do was study and I could figure it all out. However, once I graduated with my engineering degree, I again found myself in an anxiety ridden lab situation – my new job. And ultimately my life.
Dreamwork has helped me see that I am a person that is desperate to “figure it all out”.
The other night I had a dream. In it my friend Marian shared a quote with me. The quote was: “I don’t know anything.” I told her – I LOVE that quote! In waking life I am learning to love that quote too.
As I let go of trying to figure it all out, I find I am able to participate more in the “labwork” of my life. A place that often can feel like that jumbled heap of wires. But as I let go of that desperate search for the answers, somehow the answers come – but in a different way than expected. They come in connection with others, with feelings. As I connect with the Archetypes in my dreams, it spills over into my waking life. That is not something to be figured out. It is just something that happens.
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