Express

Dream: I see something that looks like a cross between a book and a computer. It looks similar to the way files are displayed on our mac. The files are fanned out, kind of hiding behind each other with the one being looked at in full view. The pages/files fly by in front of me as if they are being flipped through very quickly and then they stop on one page that says, “There is no limit to what can be expressed.”

Anytime I have a dream with some type of quote or words in it, I am intrigued. In this dream there is some kind of a computer/book that is suspended in front of me. It is as if it is alive, trying to tell me something…. as if it wants me to see the page that says, “There is no limit to what can be expressed.” Who or what is telling me that?  The sentence is written in a kind of stilted, formal way. I don’t express myself that way and so its as if it came from somewhere outside of me. Somehow, that seems to give it a sense of power. I am more inclined to sit up and pay attention. And so I have. Since having the dream, I keep thinking about that statement. The more I “hear” these words repeated in my mind, the more they are sinking in. There is no limit to what can be expressed. I guess that is obvious but still it’s a powerful statement. There are infinite ways to express oneself in the world.

express

The word express can be partially traced from Latin roots…

expressio:  a pressing out

To express:

to put something into words (express an idea)

to reveal (express one’s anger)

to set forth the opinions or feelings of oneself (as in speaking, writing, painting)

to represent a formula (example: to express something algebraically)

to press or squeeze out (ie, to express juice of a fruit, express breastmilk)

And this makes me pause….

—Antonyms

conceal.

The word express is overflowing with meanings. Its opposite stops short at one word…. conceal. As the dream says, expressing is limitless. I guess it makes sense that its opposite is so limited.

When I first began dreamwork, dreams quickly pointed out to me that a life of concealing, hiding is limiting. I am gradually learning that a life of expressing opens up infinite possibilities. A pivotal dream for me was the simple dream where I was naked and hiding. People have said to me…..oh that was just a naked dream, everyone has those. It may be true that many people have dreams of being naked. Even so, this dream taught me something important. As I learn to come out of hiding, my life opens up. Sometimes, this expressing leaves me feeling naked, exposed. Sometimes, I get the urge to run and hide again. But, I believe this dream is encouraging me…

“There is no limit to what can be expressed”

Really? No limit? Wow!! That gives me an amazing sense of freedom. A sense that I can express myself infinitely….  How exciting is that??? I can go from a life of concealing – hiding… to a life of unlimited expression.  Actually, I am already moving in that direction. As I think more about it, I realize that expression is not just about writing and words.

These days, I have been doing more writing, singing, dancing, photographing, talking, speaking up, and of course dreaming…. Its like I have had all of this inside me that been “pressing out” ..to use the Latin definition of expressio.

Recently, I was surprised as I found myself expressing myself verbally. I was standing at Speakers Corner in London with my daughter. As is customary there on Sundays, there was a discussion… well actually an argument going on. We stood and listened for a while and then I found myself piping up. I felt passionate about what I was saying and the words just poured out. There was a group of people looking at me, listening to me. Normally that would get me feeling nervous. But in this case, I was saying what I felt. It was actually easy to express myself. And so, since having the dream, I am finding more and more ways to make the statement “there is no limit to what can be expressed” true for me.

As far as writing goes, I keep coming up with more and more ideas that I want to share with whoever wants to read. Up until starting this blog, my writing has been only for me. It has been hidden in journals in drawers or in computer files. There is a place for personal journaling but lately I have been feeling less satisfied with keeping it to myself. I have been wondering ….what is the purpose of expressing oneself if nobody else will ever experience it? It seems that all forms of human expression have a desire to been exposed in some way. I believe that at the heart of this desire to express, to be exposed is actually a desire to connect. What I witnessed last night was a perfect example. My husband Mark’s band played out at an awesome beach town bar/restaurant.  It’s always exciting for the band to play a gig. Although they desire to, often bands never make it out of the basement. Making it out of the basement means that the music you are playing will get to be experienced by others – no longer hidden or concealed. And as it is expressed out in the open, there is a connection that happens. The connection goes both ways and it creates a cycle of energy that propels the expression to another level. Everyone can feel it. Last night, as the crowd danced, sang and shouted for more, the band responded with heightened ability to perform. A completely different experience than playing in the basement. The energy from this experience carried over until after the gig as band members and some of us groupies went for a 2am breakfast at a local diner. High from the energy of the night and probably punch drunk as well, we erupted in loud laughter over and over again as we told dumb, dirty jokes. It’s the same thing…. What good is a joke, if it isn’t expressed? – if it never gets somebody to laugh?  Why is it that Bob couldn’t stop telling us his endless stupid jokes? Its because we all laughed hysterically at every one of them! And as we laughed, and he continued to tell the jokes, we created a kind of positive feedback loop that didn’t want to end. It was the same with the band and the dancers. Another positive feedback loop of music, dancing and the energy connection between them. So at the end of the night, as the crowd shouted, “one more song” again and again, the band kept playing. Nobody wanted to break the spell that was created by the connection.

And so it is with this blog. At first I thought that my desire to have people read it was ego based – and it probably is to some degree – but I think it also has to do with wanting that connection. Like with the band and the joke teller, as I write and get feedback, my energy and excitement for writing increases and this is where the desire to express becomes limitless. If expression is concealed – like a band playing in a basement or a journal hidden in a drawer, there is no feedback, no connection to bring it to life. And so this message that was given to me in my dream has taken on a life of its own within me. I feel encouraged to express myself and I see no limit to it.