As a young girl I knew how to be. I’d sit looking out my bedroom window at the green grass in our front yard; at the maple tree planted there in the middle. Often, as I would sit and stare out, I’d have a peaceful and almost numinous sense of wonder. Of something bigger than me. On one of those occasions, I remember having an “ah ha” moment. It occurred to me very clearly that indeed there was a God. Of course there was. Otherwise, how would the trees and the grass exist? This may seem like an obvious conclusion but at the time, to my young mind, it hit me in a deep and profound way. There was a knowing, a connected feeling that came over me that day.
As I have grown into a responsible adult, I have mostly forgotten how to “be”. As with most of us, it was replaced with doing. We live our lives somewhere between being and doing although it seems that most of us, here in America anyway, spend a larger portion of our life doing. We start by getting educated and then by pursuing a career, raising a family etc. All of these things are part of our life and our existence. No doubt, there is a need for doing. Without it, nothing would ever get done!!! But as I have been slowly learning, being focused just on the doing means missing out on a richer existence. Lately, I have found myself moving back and forth between the two.
I was reminded of this idea during a recent trip with my family. As we spent the afternoon at an outdoor market, I found myself pulled between my two teenage daughters. It was like I was being pulled between being and doing. One daughter was moving very slowly, checking out every detail. The other daughter was walking fast, saying “come on, let’s go.” My self appointed job was to keep an eye on both of them in the crowded market. It was a difficult task. One daughter was being in each moment. The other daughter was busy thinking about what was coming next.
Being and doing could be on a continuum, with one at either end. Many of us spend most of our time at the doing end. We are either doing something or thinking about doing something (or maybe we are thinking about what we already did). We don’t spend too much time at the being end.
Dreams help shift me more towards the being end of the continuum. They teach me to feel. Often, I have stronger feelings in my dreams than I do in waking life. I recreate the feelings as I recall my dreams. As these feelings seep into my waking life, they pull me into a deeper place of being.
Dreamwork has helped to shift me out of my head (doing mode) and more into my body – the place of feeling (being mode). The dream homework allows me to move into an imaginal space – a place that has room for feelings. As I do the homework –in brief moments throughout my day, I get lots of practice being in this feeling place and so it is becoming more comfortable and “normal” to go there. Also, I now find myself stopping – in the middle of my day – in the middle of doing – to be. It’s a place of noticing…..noticing my aliveness – if that makes any sense?! And that aliveness – or beingness is felt in the body. I live differently now. I am moving back and forth between doing and being. This is what I was able to do as a child and I so I am just relearning something that I already knew.
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