Dream: I am sitting in an assigned seat next to my friend Becky. We are at a resort that has these fake, forced activities that everyone is supposed to participate in. One is a hula dance that they want us to do before we get our food that is sitting out at a big banquet table. Becky and I look at each other and agree that no, we are not going to participate. Becky then gets up to go sit with someone else. I feel lonely there without her.
Rodger helps me see that this dream is showing me something about myself. It’s a clever twist. I never would have gotten it on my own. In life, I don’t always go along with the crowd. I am kind of a rebel in some ways and I guess I have been proud of that aspect of me. So, when I remembered this dream, I thought it was OK that I refused to participate. Becky went along with my refusal and so I felt pretty smug about it. But then she leaves me alone. That part I didn’t get. Rodger suggests that like with the refusal to do the hula dance in the dream, I am keeping myself from doing the things everyone else is doing even though they may be things I really want to do. My girl (that part of my soul self that I am in the process of reclaiming) wants to dance and eat the food (nourishment). She just wants to have fun. In the dream and in waking life, when I refuse to participate, I may feel justified about it at the time but in the end it leaves me isolated and unnourished.
Homework: Imagine myself dancing.
In doing the homework, I imagine turning to Becky and saying, “Come on let’s dance!” She agrees and we get up and have a great time and then pig out at the banquet table. I like this version of the dream better. It is so much more fun to dance than to sit there watching and judging. In waking life Becky and I had some good laughs about both versions of this dream.
I am starting to think of ways that I have refused to participate in certain aspects of life because of my “rebel” way of looking at things. I find this to be a fascinating part of this work. The dream invites me to look at myself from a different angle.
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