Dream: I am with a few other people in a big room watching a movie. It seems to be part of a special class. The movie is helping us to learn about feelings. Now the movie is over and there are two men off to my left. The one guy says “disculpa” and the other guy says “amazing”. As these guys are talking to me I feel tears come up and I start to cry there in front of them. For a moment I feel exposed and I want to cover my face but then I remember the movie about feelings and so I don’t.
In dreams, movies can represent dreams. So in a way, the dream is showing me how dreams are helping me learn to feel. This is something that has shown up in my waking life. I find myself crying and laughing more easily. Sometimes these feelings come from somewhere deep and they surprise me. Other times, they bubble up in such a natural way that I forget that it hasn’t always been this way. I am so grateful for this new ability to feel. It’s like I am getting a taste of life itself.
In the dream I feel exposed when I feel the tears come up. I begin to cover my face but then I remember what I leaned in the movie and I let my feelings stay exposed, uncovered. The dreams are helping me to see how I feel shame for feeling and at the same time they are helping me to let go of that shame.
The two archetypal men are there to help me see two sides of the story. Disculpa vs. Amazing.
Discupla is a Spanish word that is like saying, “pardon me.”
Part of me feels a need to be pardoned when feelings come up (disculpa). There is something about showing my feelings that I want to cover up. But the dreams are helping me to be “out there” with my feelings, which gives me that sense of being alive (amazing).
The moment when I go to cover up my face is a reaction-moment. But then I notice my reaction and I allow the feelings to flow without covering them up. The movie (the dreams) are teaching me about these reaction moments. I am starting to be able to notice these moments in waking life. Sometimes I can catch them in myself as they are happening but often it is only after the moment has passed – but it’s a start. The hope is that I will become so aware of them that like in the dream I can let go of the reaction before it overtakes the feeling moment. Being able to live like that would be amazing!