Dream: I leave to go for a walk in the woods like I normally do. I get to an area that looks like a cave entrance. It is dark in there but I can also see some areas of light shining. When I first walk in it feels like a familiar place on my walk but I wonder why it is dark because it is still sunny outside. I think that if I go ahead in and walk through the dark area, it will eventually get to a light place. So I go in and start walking but pretty soon I get really scared. What used to be my familiar walk is now dark and scary. I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I turn around to leave.
The normal path I take in the woods turns scary as it becomes an unfamiliar cave. Although the entrance is dark, I had seen light shining in there and so I continue inside. At first I realize that if I walk through the dark place, I will be able to get to the light. But fear takes over and I quickly talk myself out of it. I back away.
Stepping into a dark cave is an archetypal moment. It brings up primal fear that comes from facing the unfamiliar or the unknown. Although scary, this moment presents me with an opportunity to face this fear and feel it. If I can walk though the darkness of this fear, I’ll have a chance to experience something awesome. The Light. Rodger suggests that the Animus is in there. It’s his light, his love that is waiting for me if I could have the courage to step through the darkness.
My homework is to step into the cave and feel the fear.
The homework experience can be so mysterious. Sometimes it seems like such a chore. Other times it flows and it’s like I am right back in the dream that it came from. In this case, although it feels scary, I have the courage to step farther into the cave than I had in the dream. But then I stand paralyzed in the pitch black, unable to move. As I continue the homework, I find myself inching forward into the blackness. It’s so dark, I feel like I am blind. I get to the point where I can’t see the light coming from the entrance or the light coming from deeper within the cave – from the animus. I don’t know which way to go. I feel so lost, alone.
Why can’t I just imagine myself walking into the cave towards the light? What is stopping me? What am I so afraid of? A deep sadness comes over me as I begin to realize what I fear: that the Light won’t be there for me.
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