Dream: I am with a tiny girl, maybe 2 or 3 years old. We are reciting a nursery rhyme together. She is shy about speaking. I want to encourage her because she is just learning. This is very new to her. There are others standing behind us that she seems to be afraid of but I am right next to her, right at her level. Our cheeks are touching. I feel her breath as she softly whispers the rhyme into my ear. At that moment, I feel such a strong connection with her. Now we are peeking through a window together. The window is mostly covered except for some pin-holes where we are looking through together. She trusts me completely. The love we feel between us is so gentle and tender but at the same time strong and powerful. I wake up with a strong feeling of love that brings me to tears.
Learning to speak is different than learning to talk. Learning to speak is about finding your voice in the world.
Although this dream was never discussed in a dream session, it was a powerful one that has stuck with me. I had the dream months ago but the feelings of it still remain. I think that the tiny girl must be my girl. As I begin to fully love and accept her she is developing the ability to speak. I felt her breath on my ear as she had the courage to softly speak despite her fear. There is a sweet and tender yet powerful connection between us.
Recently, I’ve felt like I am that little girl just learning to speak. I was sitting in a restaurant with a group of people when one person from the group spoke rudely to the waitress. I responded by telling her to “chill”. It just slipped out. The woman was out of line and I felt moved to speak up about it. It was a little scary when she stared at me with a look of pure hate. But still I am glad I spoke up. That scared little girl inside of me is learning to speak.
My normal mode is to not speak up. I was working with an autistic girl the other day. As I dropped her off at her classroom, I was shocked when the teacher immediately greeted her in a rude, demeaning way. I understand the need to be firm but this went beyond that. I was on the verge of speaking up about it – but I didn’t. I stayed quiet even though the thoughts in my head were racing. Although I didn’t speak up, I was aware of that fact which is a step in the right direction.
As a twelve year old girl, I was on a big Greyhound bus bound for Virginia Beach to visit my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt specifically told me that I was to tell the bus driver to stop right after the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel so that she wouldn’t have to drive all the way into Norfolk to pick me up. I sat paralyzed in my seat as we sped past my Aunt who was waiting there. I just couldn’t muster the courage to get out of my seat to speak to the bus driver.
This fear of speaking up has been a pattern for me for many years. This dream addresses this in a gentle loving way. My girl is on the verge of speaking as was felt by her soft breath in my ear in the dream. She’s developing the courage to speak as she receives my love and encouragement. As my girl develops in my inner world, it follows that my outer world will change as well.
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